Every North Carolina family that goes through divorce faces challenges. Unfortunately, children have a tendency to blame themselves for parental separations, but honesty and loving reassurances can counteract these negative feelings. The author of a parenting guide recommends that parents place a priority on their children’s relationship with both parents.
Although a parent might naturally want to dispute parenting decisions made by their ex-spouse, they should resist criticizing the other parent in front of the children. Unless a decision has caused emotional or physical harm, a parent should refrain from starting a fight about it. Instead, parents should focus on developing rules and expectations for their children that are consistent across both households.
In general, consistency will reduce the emotional difficulties children experience after divorce. Parents should strive to maintain as many aspects of a child’s routine as possible to limit the disruption. This will also help a child feel like their life is under control.
When children ask questions about why a divorce happened, parents should answer honestly but filter out details that are not age appropriate. These conversations should include messages that reinforce a child’s sense of being safe and loved.
During the divorce process, a parent will need to make formal agreements with the former spouse about child custody. Legal representation could be important during this process. An attorney could explain how the law generally calculates child support and rules on custody issues. Once a parent reaches an agreement with the other parent, an attorney could file the court documents to complete the divorce.